Out of the many things in life, music simply doesn’t lie — if it touches your heart and makes an impact, it does. From Cyberpunk 2077‘s Us Cracks to Animal Crossing‘s K.K. Slider, the five fictional musicians and bands will fit right into your playlist, no matter which genres you normally prefer.
The discourse on whether something qualifies as “real music” or not is getting old — you like what you like, and what’s realer than that? So this article is dedicated to some of my favourite fictional musicians, given they are products of love, patience and hours, if not years, of dedication; the least I could do to show my appreciation is through this obscure tribute.
Because good music is good music!
5 fictional musicians and bands that deserve all the applause
The main characters of Adult Swim’s dearly missed animated series Metalocalypse, Dethklok is the world’s most successful death metal band, with fans willing to sign away their lives just to be in the audience.
For a group of grown men with no real-life skills other than their musical dexterity, the members’ found family dynamic and deep care for one another are dangerously endearing for viewers like you and I — they live together in (almost) perfect harmony despite their homicidal forces of habits. Personally I find Metalocalypse to be a buster of toxic masculinity cloaked in traditional “masculine” concepts, namely metal, sex and substance abuse.
Comedy and shock factors aside, Dethklok is also a celebration of creator Brendon Small’s unsurpassable brilliance — 4 seasons, 3 full-sized albums, the voices of 3 of the 6 bandmates; all handiwork of this multi-talented powerhouse. I’m afraid we have no choice but to stan.
Cyberpunk 2077 (2020): Us Cracks
Hope you felt bad about setting Us Cracks up to fail in Cyberpunk 2077, because I certainly did — Kerry Eurodyne is a cunning bastard too charming for his own good.
Comprised of members Purple Force, Red Menace and Blue Moon, Us Cracks is a Japanese girl group parodying idol culture and the calculating corporations behind it. Bearing the weigh of their assigned kawaii personas — high-pitched voices, animated mannerisms and oblivious innocence all in one package — the trio perseveres through all odds to spice up our Night City car rides with the hit “Ponpon Sh*t”. We love self-aware queens with dedicated work ethics.
Check out the YouTube playlist here.
Not just another metal band in the mix, Detroit Metal City embodies our desire to start a new life in a foreign city and let loose without regard to repercussions.
Lead vocalist Johannes Krauser II is the alter-ego of Soichi Negishi, a soft-spoken musician who keeps his unhinged, assertive side behind a mask of KISS-inspired makeup. Do not cross this Lucifer of death metal, as he howls about all taboo subjects with no remorse, and will not hesitate to resort to physical violence. One thing that is predictable about DMC, however, is the fact that their songs are absolute headbangers.
Check out the YouTube playlist here.
Animal Crossing (2001 – 2020): K.K. Slider
K.K. Slider is Animal Crossing‘s one and only music icon, the friendliest celebrity in the history of stardom, and the man you want to see in your dreams.
Stomping his way into our hearts with timeless bangers such as “Bubblegum K.K.”, this white pup waits for us every Saturday evening at the plaza in New Horizons (2020), the latest instalment of the franchise, strumming his guitar and eager to perform. And never forget the great lengths he went just to send us his good wishes on our in-game birthday — I might or might not have shed a tear of joy.
Here’s to more K.K. Slider hits and appearances in the future.
Yazuka (2005 – 2020): Everyone
Yazuka is a gift that keeps on giving, from the third instalment (2009) onward, to be exact. Taking the “doing everything but the main quest” meme to an extreme, this SEGA game series inspired by the Japanese criminal underworld introduces numerous mini games to immerse you in the everyday life of a gang member: gambling stalls, mahjong parlours, hostess clubs, video game arcades, karaoke lounges and even Don Don Donki (complete with that song).
If this were Steve Harvey’s Family Feud, survey would say the karaoke mini game is every player’s favourite Yazuka feature. First place, no doubt. From reoccurring classics such as “Baka Mitai” to unforgettable duets such as “Pure Love in Kamurocho”, every song featured in this game screams production, professionalism and re-playability.
So forgive me when I say: everyone’s a winner.